The Cologne You Kept

I see my ex for the first time since we broke up,but I smell them before I find them.

Same cologne.One breath, and my body remembers Rowan before my heart is ready.

Will? You look like you've seen a ghost, and not the one we came for.

You grip your glass. The cologne hangs in the air like a hand on your shoulder.

Hey. Breathe. You're okay.

Tell Jamie that you smell Roweena's cologne. She must be near.

Rowan. And… yeah. I know. I caught it too, at the door.

Jamie's eyes flick across the room, then back to you, careful.

I didn't want to say anything before you got here. I figured you'd know in about three seconds anyway.

The music hums somewhere behind you. Nobody here is really celebrating.

They're just refusing to sit still with the grief.

You can still walk out. Nobody would blame you. But I don't think you came here to walk out.

Ask Jamie where Rowan is. You may as well face her.

Will… it's "they." You know it's they.

And no. I'm not pointing. You'll find them the way you found the cologne.

Jamie's hand hovers near your elbow, not quite touching, like they're ready to catch you.

Whatever you need to say to them tonight — say it. We buried the one person who'd want you both to finally talk.

Somewhere behind you, Avery's voice carries over the crowd, low and warm, holding court for the family.

The scent threads through all of it. Closer now, or maybe it never left.

You turn, and the room blurs at the edges. Faces, drinks, low talk.

The cologne pulls you like a tide you swore you'd stopped swimming in.

Go on. I'm right here.

Then I find them across the room.

Rowan has one arm around someone I have never seen before.

Same face I spent months teaching myself not to miss.

Rowan looks up.

The second they see me, their smile disappears.

Rowan walks away first

The cologne stays behind.

Jamie appears beside me.

“You know Rowan stopped wearing that after you broke up.”

I look across the room.

Jamie lowers their voice.

“Tonight is the first time they wore it again.”

Across the room, Rowan stands with their back to you, shoulders stiff, talking to no one in particular.

They haven't looked over once since they walked away. That's Rowan for "I'm not okay."

The person Rowan had an arm around drifts off toward the drinks, and for a moment Rowan is alone.

The cologne reaches you again, faint, like it's testing whether you'll move.

Cross the room to Rowan.

You cross the room. Faces blur past, and the scent grows sharper with every step, like walking into weather.

Rowan hears you before they see you. Their hand tightens around their glass.

Will.

They turn, and for a second the mask slips — grief, and something underneath it you can't name.

I was going to come find you. Eventually. In maybe ten years.

Why wait the ten years? What is wrong?

Nothing's wrong. Everything's wrong.

Our best friend is gone and you're standing three feet from me and I can't think straight.

Their voice cracks on the last word. They look at the floor, then at you, jaw set.

You want to know what's wrong? I ended it. That was me. You've earned the right to hate me for it.

But don't stand there and ask me why I waited, like the answer isn't —

They stop themselves. The cologne rises between you, deliberate as a held breath.

I never got to say goodbye either, Will. To them. To you. To any of it.

Behind you, Avery's voice trails off mid-sentence. Footsteps, unhurried, coming closer through the crowd.

Rowan glances past your shoulder, and something in their face closes like a door.

Avery stops at your shoulder, close enough that the crowd parts around all three of you.

The question you were about to ask dies in your throat, waiting.

Avery. Don't.

Avery looks between us.

“I should probably clear something up.”

“Rowan and I are not together.”

My chest forgets how to breathe.

Avery gives Rowan a look.

“Tell them why you wore it.”

Rowan looks down.

“I kept one bottle.”

“I haven’t touched it since we ended.”

Their eyes finally meet mine.

“Jamie told me you might be here tonight.”

“I wore it because I needed to know if you would still turn around.”

I hate that I did.

I hate more that part of me is glad I did.

Rowan takes one step closer.

“I never stopped loving you.”

For one second

every ending I imagined starts rewriting itself.

Then Rowan whispers,

“But loving each other was never the part we were bad at.”

And there it is.

The reason we ended,

still standing between us.

Rowan leaves before either of us can turn memory into another promise.

The door closes.

I realize some people stop being yours long before

they stop feeling like home.