The Cologne You Kept

I see my ex for the first time since we broke up,but I smell them before I find them.

Same cologne.One breath, and my body remembers Rowan before my heart is ready.

The living room is too full for grief this loud.

Someone's turned the music down out of respect, and now every voice carries.

Chloe. Hey. You went pale all at once — breathe.

I know. I know you know. They're here tonight.

Across the room, Avery stands with the family, close to the doorway everyone keeps coming through.

You don't have to do anything. Tonight isn't about you two. It's about them.

The scent keeps arriving in waves whenever the crowd shifts, like it's looking for you.

Later — because the night keeps going whether you're ready or not — Rowan finds you.

The scent arrives before the voice does. Close. Right at your shoulder.

Chloe. I wasn't sure you'd come.

They look tired in a way that has nothing to do with the hour.

You hated these things. Too many people, no way out.

Somewhere behind you, Avery has stopped talking mid-sentence. Watching.

I'm not trying to make this a thing. Not tonight. They'd have hated that.

Rowan glances at your hands — empty — and frowns like it's a problem.

Then they turn, take two steps, and come back with a glass of the ginger ale you always drank at these things.

Never the wine. They never once asked why.

They still only have the cheap wine. You always said it tasted like pennies.

Their fingers avoid yours handing it over. Deliberately, like a rule they set for themselves.

Rowan. The family's doing the toast. They're asking for you.

Rowan stands there one second too long, holding the glass out between you.

I meant to text you. About the funeral. A hundred times.

They set the glass in your hand, warm from holding it, and go.

The crowd folds them away toward the front of the room. Avery goes with them, looking back at you twice.

The ginger ale is the same brand. Of course it is.

You don't look up yet. You're not sure what your face is doing.

The glass sweats in your hand. You still haven't looked up.

The toast starts across the room — applause, someone's wet laugh.

And you find yourself lifting your eyes anyway.

Then I find them across the room.

Rowan has one arm around someone I have never seen before.

Same face I spent months teaching myself not to miss.

Rowan looks up.

The second they see me, their smile disappears.

Rowan walks away first

The cologne stays behind.

Jamie appears beside me.

“You know Rowan stopped wearing that after you broke up.”

I look across the room.

Jamie lowers their voice.

“Tonight is the first time they wore it again.”

The ginger ale is still in your hand. Warm now. Untouched.

I thought you'd want to know. Before you read it as something else.

Across the room, Rowan stands with Avery and the family, shoulder to shoulder with someone you don't know.

Or don't do anything with it. That's allowed too.

I have fun talking some one as I see my ex

You keep your eyes on whoever you're talking to, and it almost works.

Almost. Your attention keeps sliding off their words toward the front of the room.

You're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you.

It's fine. Go talk to them. Or don't. But pick one.

And why not

Because "why not" is exactly the question I can't answer for you.

Behind Jamie, Rowan has stepped away from the family. Heading this way.

Slow, like they're giving you time to leave first.

Twenty seconds to decide if you want this conversation.

The cologne arrives before they do. It always does.

Chloe. Can we — somewhere quieter?

There's a version of tonight where I never bother you again. I just need one minute first.

Avery has drifted over too, a step behind Rowan. Close enough to hear.

I have to follow my heart

You let your heart answer before your head can file an objection.

Rowan's whole posture changes when you nod. Like something held for months finally lets go.

Thank you. I know you didn't have to.

I keep thinking about how we ended. A text. Four words. After everything.

They stand close enough that the cologne wraps around you again. Deliberate. You're sure of it now.

You noticed. I can tell by your face.

I didn't wear it by accident, Chloe. Nothing about tonight is an accident.

Their hand comes up — almost to yours — and stops mid-air, remembering its own rule.

I owe you a real ending. Even if it's the last thing I ever give you.

Avery steps into the hallway behind them, quiet, listening.

The hallway is quiet except for the hum of the party behind you.

Rowan's hand is still hanging in the air between you, unfinished.

Avery's shadow falls across the doorway, and Rowan goes very still.

Avery looks between us.

“I should probably clear something up.”

“Rowan and I are not together.”

My chest forgets how to breathe.

Avery gives Rowan a look.

“Tell them why you wore it.”

Rowan looks down.

“I kept one bottle.”

“I haven’t touched it since we ended.”

Their eyes finally meet mine.

“Jamie told me you might be here tonight.”

“I wore it because I needed to know if you would still turn around.”

I hate that I did.

I hate more that part of me is glad I did.

Rowan takes one step closer.

“I never stopped loving you.”

For one second

every ending I imagined starts rewriting itself.

Then Rowan whispers,

“But loving each other was never the part we were bad at.”

And there it is.

The reason we ended,

still standing between us.

Rowan leaves before either of us can turn memory into another promise.

The door closes.

I realize some people stop being yours long before

they stop feeling like home.